The Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter, as reported by the Unalaska Advertiser:

Trespass, Feb. 24 — Processing plant made arrangements for a former employee to pick up his belongings after he was released from jail, as he would not be allowed back on the property in the future.

Trespass, Feb. 24 — Officer responded to the Alyeska Trading Co. regarding an intoxicated, aggressive customer. Investigation revealed that the drunken customer found the store clerk far too effeminate for his tastes and subsequently threw his Ding Dongs, for which he had suddenly lost all appetite, into the trash. The clerk stated he felt threatened by the drunken customer and requested that he be given a trespass advisement.

Fire response, Feb. 24, 1958 hours — Fire and EMS responded to the report of visible flames at a company bunkhouse.

Assistance rendered, Feb. 24, 1959 hours — Officers assisted with traffic control and investigation at a fire response. The alleged fire was found to be a burning candle. Fire officers also found that the smoke detector had been taped shut. Don't forget to keep your smoke detectors in good working condition!

Assistance rendered, Feb. 26 — Captain of a vessel reported one of his deckhands was passed out in front of the Airport Bar. He asked that an officer contact the drunken sailor and advise him not to return to the vessel.

Ambulance request, Feb. 26 — EMS volunteers assisted a man who had been injured by a 17-pound block of ice.

Harassment, Feb. 27 — Young man reported his ex-girlfriend was sending him text messages ad infinitum. Officers contacted the ex, who admitted communicating with the young man but only after he asked her for a substantial sum of money. Officers advised the woman to cease communicating with the penniless youth.

Public safety, Feb. 27 — Advisory issued regarding a possible tsunami.

Drunk disturbance, Feb. 27 — Caller reported a large hairy male was screaming and grabbing at a woman in an effort to get her to accompany him from the hotel. Officers responded and found a drunken couple in a dispute about whether the woman was allowed to buy a potted plant.