Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Suspicious activity, April 10, 0411 hours — A man wished to report that he had been spanked by the assistant cook of the vessel on which he was employed. The captain when told laughed at the man, who returned to work only to be spanked a second time. Officers advised the man to contact either the Alaska State Troopers or the U.S. Coast Guard, as the incident occurred outside of local jurisdiction.

Theft, April 12 — Ismael J. Seery, 25; Adrian D.M. DeLeon, 25; and Jason L. Miguel, 32, were charged with vehicle theft and criminal mischief after they stole a skiff from the processing vessel Arctic Star and then left it on a beach to be battered against the rocks.

Security check, April 13, 0010 hours — A man who received a phone call that appeared to have originated from a vessel nobody was supposed to be aboard asked officers to verify that the vessel was secure. Officers found that all doors and windows on the boat were properly latched and locked.

Drunk disturbance, April 14, 0217 hours — A rather inebriated and tottering man was seen urinating on a taxi cab. The man, who wasted an inordinate amount of time not identifying himself, was advised to keep his urine to himself when in public.

Roads, April 14 — Caller reported gigantic boulders on the roadway. A strong and able officer removed them so that traffic might safely pass.