From the local police blotter:
Theft, Feb. 26 — Employee reported having some personal property tampered with and/or stolen while he was working onboard a vessel. Under investigation.
Assault, Feb. 28 — A man who was offended by a joke punched the jokester in the face until he fell to the floor, then smacked him a few more times for failing to apologize quickly enough. The other two men in the room claimed they were unaware of the incident. Wanderson Moreira Lopes, 36, of Anchorage, was arrested on one count of assault.
Traffic crime, Feb. 29 — Caller reported that her mother saw a taxi driver speeding near one of the docks. An officer contacted the suspect taxi driver and gave her a warning.
Noise disturbance, March 3, 0024 hours — Caller reported hearing a fight in progress at a neighboring residence. A wet woman clad only in a bath towel abashedly explained to responding officers that the "fight" they were investigating at her house was simply loud intimate relations.
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