The Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter, as reported by the Unalaska Advertiser:

Criminal mischief, March 15 — A union member who does not see eye to eye with his laboring brethren found a skull and crossbones sticker on the door of his pickup. An officer removed the sticker.

Ambulance request, March 15 — EMS personnel provided medical attention and painkillers to a man whose genitalia had been injured when a line snapped.

Trespass, March 15 — An inebriate who was fired from a local processing plant was found passed out drunk in his former bunk room. Per the request of management, the drunk was trespassed from the property.

Trespass, March 16 — Trespass advisement issued to a man whom UniSea management no longer wanted on their property.

Animal, March 17 — A whale, acting in a manner which caused dockside workers to believe it was sick, swam up to a local processing plant. The whale later swam away.

Assistance rendered, March 18 — Officers responded to a seafood processing plant on a report of a hurt plant worker. The worker was taken to the clinic for evaluation.

Assault, March 19 — Thomas Warden, 43, of Maryland, was arrested after assaulting his roommate in the galley of a local processing plant.

Assistance rendered, March 19 — A Florida resident requested assistance in locating her brother on a fishing vessel, as she needed to contact him regarding a family emergency. The information was relayed to the man to call his sister.

Welfare check, March 20 — Officers responded to a bunkhouse on a report of a disturbance. Investigation determined that a couple of drunks got into an argument. A resolution was reached when the drunks staggered off in separate directions for the evening.