The Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter, as reported by the Unalaska Advertiser:

Assistance rendered, March 8 — Multiple drivers unable to extricate themselves from the snow drifts into which they had driven.

Taxi violation, March 8, 1719 hours — Caller reported a former taxi driver was transporting passengers to Icicle Seafoods. The suspect maintained she had offered free transportation to her two passengers. Officers contacted the occupants, who stated they had paid nothing for the ride from the library.

Taxi violation, March 8, 2102 hours — A former taxi driver was cited for operating without a chauffeur's permit after an investigation revealed the driver had provided transportation to a passenger in exchange for a "tip."

Domestic disturbance, March 9 — Officers investigated a disturbance at a processing plant, apparently precipitated by one roommate keeping a logbook of the other roommate's every snore, cough and other non-verbal bodily noise. The subject of the log became rather perturbed when he discovered what was being written about him, and the two puerile processors subsequently engaged in a minor pushing match. No charges were filed.

Drunk disturbance, March 9 — Two more quibbling roommates required police assistance in settling their differences. An inebriated man made an unusual racket while stumbling into the room with a pizza. The noise disturbed his roommate, whose ire was not alleviated by offers of a slice. The bickering boys engaged in minor pushing and shoving. They were turned over to plant security.

Welfare check, March 9 — Processing plant reported a missing employee. An officer located the man in his room at the Grand Aleutian hotel.

Assault, March 9 — Officer responded to an alleged assault at a local fish factory and determined the primary complaint involved a plant processor knocking a coworker's hard hat off her head. No criminal activity was discovered during the course of the investigation.

Assault, March 13 — Officers responded to the Grand Aleutian hotel lobby, where an inebriate was nursing an eye wound. The drunken man believed he had been in argument with another person, regarding whose boat was "better," but was unable to provide any additional pertinent information. Witnesses did not see the inebriate get hit and believed he may have stumbled as he so often does.