The Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter, as reported by the Unalaska Advertiser:

Assault, March 1 — Two processors engaged in a battle for control of a yellow bucket full of soapy water. One processor conceded the sudsy bucket after his supervisor bade him yield, but later confronted the victor in a dark alley and allegedly slapped him across the face. There were no witnesses to the misdeed.

Suspicious person or activity, March 2 — A non-union APL employee reported swastikas had been drawn in the mud on her company vehicle. She believed the incident was likely due to ongoing dispute between management and union personnel.

Assistance rendered, March 3 — Officer contacted a drunk staggering in the middle of the roadway and found that his nose had been relocated to the left side of his face. The drunk told the officer he had been stupid this evening, but declined to provide any additional information. The officer provided courtesy transportation to the man's residence.

Welfare check, March 3 — Caller reported a missing fisheries observer, last seen leaving the Harborview Bar at closing the previous night. Approximately an hour later the missing man was found.

Theft, March 3 — Caller reported his rental truck had been stolen. Investigation revealed his rental truck had mistakenly been taken by the captain of another vessel, and had been left at another dock.

Ambulance request, March 3 — EMS personnel offered medical care to a trembling, drunken man with a bloody nose and the word "LOSER" written on his head. The inebriate refused care.

Assault, March 4 — Caller claimed he was being pursued by his captain and the captain's brother, both of whom had assaulted him. Responding officers contacted several participants and witnesses, who provided conflicting accounts about the initiation and termination of the brawl. No charges were filed.

Assault, March 5 — A man who was demonstrating how to properly position and drive a knife in order to achieve a fatal stab wound was kicked in his knife hand by an onlooker. When he confronted the kicker about the dangers of such actions, the kicker began punching him about the head and torso. Witnesses confirmed the victim's story. David Aaron Meeks, 39, was arrested for assault.

Double DUI, March 5 — Officers arrested two drunks for driving the same vehicle while intoxicated. Timothy P. Cosgrove and Kenneth L. Sjong left the Airport Bar and, unable to find a taxi, elected to drive back to their boat and promptly drove into a snow drift. Sjong, the first driver, left the area on foot. Cosgrove stayed in the vehicle and was apparently attempting to remove it when officers arrived. Both Cosgrove, 57, and Sjong, 57, were arrested for driving under the influence.

Found property, March 5 — Good citizen turned in a wallet with a significant quantity of cash in it. The owner of the wallet recovered it about an hour later and was greatly appreciative of the good citizen's actions.

Disorderly conduct, March 5 — Caller reported a man passed out in the Safeway deli. The responding officer found the man being helped to a taxi by two friends, who said they were taking the inebriate back to his boat.

Drunk disturbance, March 5 — A drunken man at Westward Seafoods was banging on doors and yelling obscenities at plant security officers. The drunk was advised to cease his behavior or face arrest.

Road hazard, March 6 — Large crab pot blocking roadway. An officer moved the pot to the side of the road.

Assault, March 7 — Officers investigated an alleged assault between two drunken processors at Westward Seafoods. Both parties had witnesses to corroborate their versions of events. The complainant ultimately elected not to pursue charges.