Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Environmental, July 8 — Caller reported what appeared to be an oil slick on the beach. Officers found a brown, vaguely gelatinous substance, within which were suspended particles of sand, which had accumulated in long rafts next to the beach. The gelatinous accumulation neither looked, felt nor smelled like a petroleum product.

Assistance rendered, July 11 — Officers spoke with both property owners and labor protesters regarding private property limits and protest restrictions.

Found property, July 12 — Individual turned in a handbag, containing over $2,000 in cash, which he had found near the gas station. The handbag was turned over to its owner.

Welfare check, July 14 — Callers responding to a report of a woman staggering in the roadway found a quite inebriated man tottering back to his vessel. The inebriate appeared capable of safely traversing the short remaining distance to his vessel.

Harassment, July 14 — Officer advised an out-of-town wife who had made repeated calls to both police and security regarding her husband's welfare that her numerous unnecessary calls were creating a safety hazard by tying up phone lines. The wife responded by asking what she needed to do to get her husband arrested for conspiracy to commit murder. She was advised to contact her local law enforcement if she was in fear for her safety.

Assault, July 15 — Officer responded to a report of a fight in progress and found that two men had engaged in a brief altercation after an argument about tribal affairs in their home country. Witnesses put both men at fault, and neither wished to pursue charges.

Trespass, July 16 — Plant security requested assistance with a newly hired plant manager who was inebriated and had been found turning off various machines in the powerhouse. The belligerent plant manager made several comments regarding ownership of said machines, but eventually complied with the request to leave the premises.

Suspicious person, July 16 — An out-of-town wife told an officer she wished to report a crime that had not yet been committed, namely that her husband, who calls to tell her he loves her, is conspiring to have her killed. The wife refused to provide information regarding her location or to speak to police in her jurisdiction about the alleged conspiracy, and hung up on the officer.

Public safety, July 17 — Officer responded to a report that someone was in the water below the South Channel Bridge, and found upon arrival that the person in the water was wearing dive gear and was climbing aboard a dive-flagged vessel.