Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Forgery, Sept. 24 — A counterfeit $100 bill was discovered in a bank customer's deposit. Officers determined the bill apparently had been tendered the previous night at the Harbor View bar and had then been distributed with bar employee tips. The bank manager informed local businesses of the incident.

Suspicious activity, Sept. 25, 0208 hours — Officers found a drunk attempting to summit a processing plant building. The drunk, who had appeared to be talking to someone already on top of the building, denied that he had any companions.

Harassment, Sept. 25 — Processing plant employee reported being slandered by an unidentified coworker who had posted on Facebook a picture of the employee in a compromising position. Under investigation.

Protective custody, Sept. 25 — A rather intoxicated man who decided that a table in the lobby of the Grand Aleutian was a suitable substitute for a urinal was taken into protective custody.

Drunk disturbance, Sept. 27, 0250 hours — Officers contacted two intoxicated fishermen who were engaged in a deadly serious game of tug-of-war with a purple tutu, which both of them claimed as their own. Officers suggested they drop both the tutu and the argument, as it hardly seemed worth going to jail over such a flimsy issue.

Suspicious activity, Sept. 27 — Karl E. Rasmussen, 20, of Washington, was charged with false information and minor in possession of alcohol after he lied to officers about his date of birth and Social Security number after he was found passed out in a UniSea bunkhouse.