Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Ambulance request, March 10 — EMS personnel provided care and transport to a man whose fingers had been crushed in a piece of processing equipment.

Trespass, March 12, 2325 hours — Officer issued a trespass advisement to a drunken misogynist whose extraordinarily discourteous behavior had made him unwelcome with the barmaids.

Liquor law violation, March 12, 2341 hours — Officer advised a drunken misogynist that he was not allowed to enter or remain at any other licensed liquor establishments this night. The inebriated chauvinist, who threatened to defecate on the responding officer's patrol car, finally left after making several sexist remarks.

Assault, March 15 — Two men got into a fight after one man, attempting to protect his buddy's Tater Tots, told the Tater-taker that he was the bigger and badder man. The Tater Tots skirmish ended with one bloody nose and two ripped shirts.

Assistance rendered, March 15, 0225 hours — Officers responded to a dock regarding a man who had fallen off a vessel but had been caught by lines strung between dock and boat. The man had already been extricated by the time officers arrived, and refused medical care.

Assault, March 15, 0242 hours — A fight, of indeterminate origin, broke out on the vessel from which a man had recently fallen. The four involved men were all intoxicated and could not explain exactly how or why the fight started. No significant injuries were reported.

Found property, March 22 — A wallet, in a crab pot.

Traffic, April 3 — Complaint about a reckless driver. An officer located the suspect vehicle and learned that the driver had been responding to a report that his boat was sinking. The vessel crew was warned about reckless driving.

Assault, April 4 — The captain of a fishing vessel told police that one of his crew had, against orders, returned both late and inebriated to the vessel. The crewman had, after being told several times that he was an idiot for having done so and an idiot for then arguing about it, punched his captain in the neck. The captain did not wish to pursue charges but asked for help getting the angry inebriate off the vessel.

Welfare check, April 4 — A welfare check was requested for an individual who was reported to be intoxicated and possibly on drugs while using power tools on a docked fishing vessel.

Fatality, April 5 — Officers responded to a vehicle that had rolled off the hillside just above a local boat harbor. Driver of the vehicle perished due to injuries sustained in the accident.

Assault, April 9 — Officers responded to seafood plant for a report of an assault. It was found that a harassing party participant had a gash on the back of his head. Witnesses stated that he tripped and hit his head on a desk while the injured male stated that someone broke a bottle over his head. No parties wished to pursue charges.

Suspicious person, April 14 — Officers responded to a report of a male individual removing his clothing outside a bunkhouse. Officers found the individual on all fours with his pants at his ankles. The male individual stated that he was having a baby. He knew this because he was visited on 6/6/06 by an angel who told him that he would have a baby. Subject was taken to the clinic for observations.

Assault, April 14 — Officers responded to a report of a fight in progress at the local airport. Officers contacted the intoxicated individuals who were involved in the fight, which apparently was over a guy's little brother being fired from a vessel. Ofisa J. Asoau, 27, was arrested for assault.

Trespass, April 16 — Officers trespassed unwanted deckhand from vessel upon request of vessel manager.

Assistance rendered, April 18 — Officers assisted with a report of an individual in the water at the Spit Dock. The on-duty harbor officer was already on scene and with the individual when officers arrived. The inebriated subject was extracted from the water and transported to the clinic. Other than exposure, subject suffered no injuries.

Drunk disturbance, April 21 — Caller reported an individual passed out on the stairwell at a local hotel. Police responded and found the harbor officer and security helping a Hispanic male stand up. The intoxicated subject stated he drank until he ran out of money. A coworker was located nearby and agreed to bring the inebriate back to his room at a local processing plant.

Environmental, April 29 — U.S. Coast Guard officer reported that a fishing vessel spilled about 100 gallons of diesel fuel into the bay. Officers responded to the scene and found that the cleanup was under way.