Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Trespass, Feb. 11 — Officers advised a drunken fisherman who had just been fired that he was not allowed to return to the vessel and he should deal with any employment contract issues during the business day, preferably in a sober state.

Assault, Feb. 15 — Officer investigated an alleged assault and discovered that a headlock may have been confused with a hug; that one of the participants had lied about being in the military and killing people; and that one man was upset because another told him that the liquor store was open when in fact it was closed.

Assistance rendered, Feb. 17 — Officer mediated a dispute, involving a $10 cab fare and some derogatory language, between two processors.

Drunk disturbance, Feb. 19, 0029 hours — A group of processing plant employees whose inebriation had violated conditions of their contracts was told that they were all terminated but were welcome to spend the night in the company bunkhouse pending their exit interviews in the morning. Due to the aforementioned intoxication, the group was unable to understand or take advantage of such company largess and instead continued to disturb the peace until they were escorted from the premises by police.

Disorderly conduct, Feb 19, 1455 hours — Officer responded to a processing vessel regarding an alleged trespasser, and found that a previously terminated employee who had returned for his final paycheck was taking advantage of the opportunity to mouth off at some of his former coworkers. The officer advised the man to leave and not return, or else risk arrest.

Disorderly conduct, Feb. 19 — Minutes later, an officer was called back to the processing vessel because the terminated employee had returned to demonstrate more clearly why he no longer had a job. He had fled by the time the officer returned.

Suspicious person, Feb. 19 — Caller reported a man walking along the roadway carrying a sign that said "Need Weed." The man was not creating a hazard nor was he violating any laws.

Suspicious activity, Feb. 20, 0257 hours — Caller reported two apparently unconscious women being carried over the shoulders of two men. Officers contacted a laughing woman and two men, who all explained that they had been having a footrace and that the second woman had already gone inside her home. They all appreciated the department's concern.

Assault, Feb. 20 — Two processors engaged in a shoving match in their breakroom, with one man claiming the other hit him twice in the face. Witnesses said they had seen some sort of altercation, but were unable to specify what if any physical violence had occurred. No charges were filed.