Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Suspicious person, May 26 — Officers contacted an individual causing a disturbance at a local drinking establishment. The individual was warned against such maleficent behavior.

Ambulance request, May 27 — Ambulance responded to a report of an individual having been attacked by an eagle.

Suspicious activity, May 29 — Complainant reported what he believed to be fraudulent activity in regards to his attempt to sell some fishing vessel equipment.

Assault, June 3 — Officers responded to a report of a fight aboard a processing barge. Both combatants were contacted and neither wished to discuss the issue with police. Their employment was terminated and they were removed from the vessel.

Suspicious activity, June 3 — Officers investigated a report of a dangerous situation that occurred a month prior. It was reported that a crane picked up a 40-foot container while it was still attached to the chassis, lifting the chassis and truck off the ground. Information was passed on to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

Drunk disturbance, June 6, 0200 hours — Officers contacted two individuals who appeared to be involved in a heated debate about who was manlier. The two were separated and it was found that no crime had been committed.

Trespass, June 6, 0244 hours — A three-month trespass was issued by a local business to one of the participants in the above-mentioned alcohol- and testosterone-fueled confabulation.

Animal, June 6 — Officers responded to assist in a report of a fox chasing children in the playground. The Vulpes lagopus had fled the area prior to officers arriving.