Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Suspicious activity, Jan. 20 — Caller reported what he thought was an upside-down life raft on the beach near the landfill. Officers responded and found a black-and-orange tarp held in place with rocks, which had been on the beach for some time.

Public safety, Jan. 21, 1339 hours — Caller reported three people playing soccer in the roadway near one of the post offices. An officer responded and advised the three grown men that the road was a fantastic place to play if they, collectively or individually, had death wishes.

Theft, Jan. 21 — Processing plant employee reported that his iPod had been taken from amongst many other equally or more valuable items left on his bed. An investigation was initiated after the alleged victim assured the officer that the iPod could not possibly be anywhere else in the room. The iPod miraculously appeared in the bathroom a short time later.

Theft, Jan. 25, 0105 hours — Caller reported his television remote had been stolen the previous day. An officer responded to the victim’s residence and quickly located a remote in the house, but the victim advised that remote was a backup and his primary remote had clearly been stolen since he was unable to find it. Not under investigation.