Dutch Harbor report

From the local police blotter:

Disorderly conduct, May 30, 1526 hours — Store management asked for assistance removing a drunk who was passed out in the lobby. Officers helped remove the man from the premises.

Protective custody, May 30, 1755 hours — The drunk returned to the grocery store and passed out again, this time on a bench outside the facility. The drunkard was taken into protective custody when it became clear he believed he was on a boat rather than in front of a store.

Criminal mischief, May 31 — A testy tosspot who had tossed about too many pieces of furniture was removed from the Grand Aleutian hotel and advised not to return to the premises.

Suspicious activity, June 1, 2359 hours — Caller reported a floating, flaming object had been hovering above the softball field. Officers responded to the area but found no identified or unidentified objects of similar description.